First Draft
Upon creating the first draft for my documentary, already there are a lot of things I know I need to improve on. I tried to create a script where everything would flow nicely, therefore when talking about Northern venues I tried to follow each section on in the best possible way, in that they would somehow link. Following this, I made sure to do my research to ensure everything I was saying was accurate - Being a Expository documentary, all of the information needs to be correct since the aim of my final piece is to inform my audience about our history in terms of venues and live acts who have performed here. Under each section I have worked out the duration of how long it would take me to say, this way I was able to collect the images I have found and ensure there is enough footage to talk over - With the venues mentioned being from the 1950s, with one even opening in 1913, there is no video footage, which meant I had to find images from online, allowing me to speak over them and narrate what was happening at the time. Furthermore, the task being all about 'Regional Identity', I planned to discuss the Northeast as a whole, but so far have discussed Sunderland and have only touched upon Newcastle, so from here I will continue to discuss Sunderland's history, as well as going into Newcastle venues in more detail.
Updated Script ( March 30th 2022)
In my updated script, I have included a new venue - the Mayfair, Newcastle, and just like the others have discussed its history, who performed there, etc. I also took out some information which I thought perhaps wasn't relevant or wasn't worth mentioning, for example in the paragraph on The Rink. Again in my section on The Locarno I took out the parts I thought were not necessary, as well as shortening down some sentences to ensure I wouldn't be talking for a longer period than needed and going off track.
Next was The Mayfair, and I believe I summed up the legacy of the venue as well as I possibly could. Also with this venue I am able to use video footage, whereas for the other venues video footage does not exist, allowing me to have variety in my documentary, not just using images throughout with a narration on top. When discussing the modern day, again after reading over the paragraph there were several parts which seemed unnecessary to keep in and didn't benefit to the brief, therefore I wrote out the section again to a standard I felt was good. I also tried to make this section a little longer, since it will be made up of entirely my own footage, and I would rather have more of my own footage than footage sourced from online.
Like before I will keep checking over my script to see if there are any changes or improvements to be made.
April 5th 2022: Since being at the point where I was happy with the outcome of my script, I have since completed an interview to go on the end of my documentary, this being with Buzzard Buzzard Buzzard frontman Tom. Upon completing this, I think I will make some changes to my script to ensure it leads smoothly into the interview - To do this I am thinking about discussing the Newcastle venue The Cluny, where I am seeing the band this week, and from here I'd be able to discuss another venue and use my own footage, then link in the interview afterwards.
May 3rd 2022: I spent today's lesson time updating my script and changing some things around, since upon writing my script the first time around for my section on Sunderland's The Locarno, there isn't enough footage to go with the audio meaning while I was still speaking, I ran out of footage to pair it with. From here I am shortening some parts of my script and taking some out completely to see how well it works and if the script still flows nicely - If not, I will change my script around and will potentially add my section on The Locarno back in (An idea I'm considering is listing a selection of venues in the same paragraph rather than having one for each, this allowing me to mention these venues and include footage but only talk about them briefly, due to the lack of footage.) As well as this, I am currently writing more on Newcastle's o2 Academy, as I feel I could mention more about the venue's past when discussing the gigs I have attended there.
May 11th 2022: After re-recording some of my script and having completed the editing to go with these sections, I have since added and changed more of my script when discussing the modern day and the gigs I have attended. I hoped to have recorded the new audio last lesson, but due to not being able to use the studio space I haven't been able to get this completed. After college I did attempt to record the new script with my phone but the results didn't come back as good as if I were to use the camera and mic.
May 12th 2022: This is my current, up to date script, which so far I am happy with. I have since changed it around, which you can see when comparing this updated version to my last. I think compared to my first draft, this version is a lot better and I am pleased with where I am currently at - This isn't to say though that I won't leave it as it is, as I will continue to make improvements wherever I can.
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